I loved him for 12 years, from the innocent 15 to the troubled 27. But he has always been indifferent and cold, and when I couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to give up, he just gave me a little hope at the right time. I softened my heart again, because of that ridiculous bit of hope that I volunteered to go into his trap. I know he's using me, even though I'm just an ordinary citizen, but because I'm normal, I let him use it.He says he likes women. But has an ambiguous relationship with another man. I don't know if he was reluctant because of the mission or because he liked it.